Faith Transitions

If you've never been through a faith transition then you won't know what it's like, and even then everyone has their own experience (you can read a bit about mine on my website over here).

Some transition experiences are described on podcasts from 'The Liturgists' (specifically 'Lost and Found', 'The Other Side of the Mattress' and 'Parenting and Deconstruction'). I started listening to the first of these in the car on the way to work yesterday. It's a discussion between Science Mike and Michael Gungor, both of whom transitioned out of and then back into Christianity. Apart from anything else this makes them hugely interesting people to me in an intellectual way. Anyway, about three or four minutes in part of a Michael Gungor song is played as an interlude "Please Be My Strength".

I tend to bury my emotions pretty deep, but I found the first half of this song really moving. It took me right back to the time I spent asking God to show himself and help me find Him, something that hasn't happened.

I'll never forget the day that came a while after that when I actually wondered...genuinely in the core of my being...not as a mental exercise but emotionally deep within me...for the first time in my life: Does God exist? I was shaken inside, my body ached, I couldn't concentrate, I was terrified the answer was 'no', it really felt like it could be 'no'.

That was a long time ago now and I've had to come to terms with the reality I'm faced with: The God I thought existed doesn't. Perhaps a different one does, and perhaps not. Life journey's on...

Faith transitions are hard. Give people going through them a break.